Life is hard, and you may find yourself fundamentally anxious and exhausted and broken. When this happens, untangling yourself is horrid and difficult work. No matter what, coming out of the haze will be slow.

tip #1 use your microwave

A microwave is a beautiful tool that can cook you oatmeal, a potato, broccoli or reheated lasagna in less than 5 minutes. This will keep you alive. Sometimes it can even look really good. If you don't eat for a while eating will, 1 spike your blood sugar, 2, make you even more hungry. It might make you feel broken, you are not, this is part of the operation of the body, try to eat more if you can.

you will do less than you think you should, you are doing way more than you think you are.

I kept a log for about two weeks of every activity I did in a day, including watching tv, even on days when I felt like I did nothing I still usually hit about 15 things with 30 on a high energy day. On a day where it feels like you can't do anything let your body rest, you are doing lots of things you just don't think they count.

take control

Be loud, take up space, modify your environment, anything to prove you are real.

build self trust

This means QUIT. This means EAT. This means REWARDS. Inside you is a horribly scared little toddler mouse, it is impossibly weak, it relies on you for everything. Every time it's hungry and you refuse to feed it because you haven't earned the right, every time you tell yourself you'll stop working and then keep going, every time it says "that was hard I want a lollipop now" and you don't let it have one because you don't deserve a lollipop, it will throw up and cry and bawl and beat against your chest. "BUT YOU PROMISED!!!! BUT I WANT TO GO HOME!!!! BUT I WANT TO GO TO BED!!!! BUT IM HUNGRY NOW!!!" and if you let it cry it out every single time, eventually it will fight you, and it will win. Because, that little mouse is your core and it will cut off energy to everything to make you stop and take a break and eat nice food and get a hug if it needs to.

When it does the nuclear option, that's burnout. And when, you try to fight through burnout and bargain with the mouse it will not listen because you have never held up your end of the bargain anyway and so it won't trust you anymore. You have to prove to the mouse that you can be trusted. You have to stop when its time to stop, and eat when you're hungry, and get as many hugs as you can.

making learning easy

A huge part of inescapable malaise is we feel stagnant. Learning staves off stagnation. Practice new skills to feel like you're making progress. The quick and dirty version of learning quick is:

1. try out the simplest version to get a feel
2. maybe look some stuff up if you have specific questions
3. play around a bit more feeling your way toward some small, tangible goal
4. change your goal and go again

DO NOT FOCUS ON THE END PRODUCT OF COMPETENCY. Focussing on some imagined final competency is a ticket to comparison hell. Focus on the process, let your mind relax and try stuff out, you want to explore the possibility space and in doing you will discover a bunch of different ways to do the little thing you want.

help other people when you can

This one's the hardest one for me. It can be really hard to believe you have anything to offer to other people, but you do. Even if its just a friendly presence. Being able to help others gives you evidence of your own worth, allows you to feel wanted, and to form positive connections.

unfortunately you are in charge of fun now

There's no official recess time anymore, you have to give that to yourself. Go out and chase geese, play tag, climb a tree. These are all things we do as kids and stop doing at some point when we "mature". unfortunately, a lot of us aren't taught any replacements. If you don't have any replacements, keep doing the kid stuff. Some more "adult" replacements are: folk dancing, martial arts classes, rock climbing, any field sport.

your day in the sun

Forcing yourself to go outside is hard. especially when people act like a twenty minute walk every day is going to cure depression somehow. It won't. But, Seasonal Affective Disorder is at least partially because of lack of sunlight, so if nothing else try to sit by a window, I just try to walk to lunch or breakfast once a day.

be around people

when you are alone too long, your brain's threat model gets really out of whack and it starts interpreting almost everyone as a threat. It's also no longer getting regular proof that people are totally fine. You don't have to socialize, but find an excuse to be in an area where you are likely to see at least 8 other people across the time you're there, and let your body observe that none of them tried to stab you or call you a stinky doodoo head.

your friends are not your parents

Unlike your family, your friends didn't just wake up one day with you stuck in their lives. It can be hard to believe you are attractive to anyone, but your friends choose to hang out with you and they do that because they get something satisfying out of it. Your friends are more than ok with the version of you right here right now, and they will be happy to see you happier too.

sometimes anger is really useful

Anger and dread are your body's way of saying something is wrong. Listen to it and try to eliminate or reduce your exposure to the problem. Maybe that means blocking someone on twitter, maybe that means dropping a college class, maybe that means breaking up with someone.

listen to the mountain goats

It's a good band and John Darnielle is a good song writer.